NOTE: This blog was written during a difficult season in the past. Since then I’ve seen God work in me to bring hope, health and healing. Some of you reading this were part of that process.  I am currently in a good place. I hope this blog may help or encourage someone else. 

Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this because it might change your perception of me, but that’s okay. I share in hopes of helping someone else.  I’ve failed and I’m flawed, but I know the One who is perfect.  He is aware of my imperfections and frailties; He knows how he created me.  He also knows you and your imperfections and frailties as well. Despite those things we’d rather hide, He invites us to bring them to the light and experience His love, mercy, and grace.

So, the truth.  Are you ready for my confession?  I can be a professional Christian worrier.  Recently, I’ve caught myself worrying about all sorts of things from my health, my friends, my future, and much more.  It is kind of embarrassing some of the things I have worried about.  What’s worse is I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I had some time to get away, unplug, and rest.  It took a long time to unwind and settle down.   When I did, the depths of God’s love and grace were overwhelming.

But after a few days, it seemed as if His peace was all gone.  What happened?  Where was that closeness to God and the peace of His presence I had found to be so comforting, even when facing a storm?  I discovered I had picked up an old, family habit:  I had started to worry.  I started to worry about some lingering health issues that won’t seem to go away.  I started worrying about the work I need to do and why it wasn’t getting done, even though it wasn’t time to do some of it yet.  I was worrying  about what others may be thinking about me.  What if my health is never restored?  What if others are upset with me?  What if…. And the list went on and on.

Sadly, I didn’t even realize what was going on because, for years, this had been how I had lived apart from my relationship with Christ and, as I was seeing, even with my relationship with Him.  I hadn’t surrendered all things to Him.  Something had to give, and I knew it was my thoughts or His presence.  I realized I wanted Him rather than my worries and anxieties.  I wanted to learn to trust Him, regardless of how I feel or what circumstances I may find myself in.  I realized I have a hope and promise for things far beyond this world.  This earthly home is only temporary, and I am working for something far greater than the things of this earth.  And by worrying, how was I acting any differently than those around me that don’t know Christ?  What kind of witness is worry, fear, and anxiety/stress?

As I confessed this sin of worry, anxiety, and fear to the Lord, things started to change.  I remembered the following passages of scripture and started looking at them again: Matthew 6:25-34, Psalm 55:2, and Philippians 4:4-9.  But it was  1 Peter 5:7,” casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you,” that got me.  Well, actually, it was verses 6-7 (ESV):  “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Did you see it?  The two verses are one sentence. I’ve often heard just verse 7 cited on its own, but today as I read the complete sentence, verses 6-7, I realized a few things.  Anxiety, fear, and worry are not only sin, but also the sin of pride.  How is it prideful?  Because we think we can do anything to change the situation, even if it is just worrying about it, which if you’ve looked at Matthew 6 isn’t true, but so many of us live as if change depends on us.  Yes, there are things we can do to improve our health, finances, relationship, and so much more and we should, but there is also an order.  The clue is Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Are you worried about something today?  Is fear choking you?  Is anxiety keeping you from enjoying today?  Then maybe it is time to humble yourself, repent of your sin and trust God with the circumstances and situation. Leave them in His hands and follow Him.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

NOTE: This blog was written during a difficult season last year. Since that time I’ve seen God work to bring hope, health and healing. Some of you reading this were part of that process. I am currently in a good place. I hope this blog may help or encourage someone else.