How have the words other people have spoken to you impacted you? Do you smile and feel warm inside? Encouraged? Maybe you cringe in fear or shame? Heartbroken? Defeated? Or maybe a combination or something else, depending upon which words come to mind and who spoke them.

I remember as a child hearing and using, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never harm me.” It sounds like a good retort to another child that is saying something mean, but it honestly doesn’t help. It’s just a childish response and doesn’t honestly acknowledge the fact that a person’s words hurt us. Sometimes the wounds from words last long past the time a broken bone might take to heal. They need healing, too.

Over the last week, I’ve noticed something in studying different topics related to disability. This wasn’t common in all the things I looked at, but it occurred enough times that it caught my attention. One teacher talked about those people, referring to people with disabilities. A statistic I read compared people with disabilities as compared to normal people. Wait! What? Those people? As compared to normal people?

I honestly don’t think the people meant to make the comparison like that. I’ve caught myself doing it in the past, too. But what I realized in myself and in reading this is that it can sound as if we are saying one group of people is better or more a person than another. The truth is we’re all people, but all have different gifts, abilities, and characteristic. As Temple Grandin, a woman with autism and spokesperson for autism, says, “I’m different, not less.” The words we speak can convey differences without making people sound as if they are less. 

I found myself correcting their comments: not those people, but people with disabilities and not normal people but as compared to people without disabilities. Why? Because I had heard in their words how, if I’m not careful, my words can hurt other people and sometimes reveal my deeper, subconscious feelings or ideas.

To do this well, I’ve realized the need to know my heart, which includes being honest with how the words of other people have affected me and how my words have affected other people. I am working to slow down and pause before I speak. How might what I say be perceived by the other person? Is that what I want to say? I want to use words to encourage and build up, even correct when necessary and in the right place, time, and within my place. I want to use words spoken in love. What would a world like that look like? 

At TCI, we believe all people are created in the image of God for a purpose. We train people in developing nations to advocate for the rights of people with disabilities and provide basic physical therapy and other rehabilitation services to help people with disabilities participate and bring their unique gifts to their community.