Browse Month: April 2020

I Don’t Know What To Do

This blog by Shes Rivera, Guatemala Director of TCI, couldn’t be more timely. The lesson she learned when working with her patient, before we all were quarantined for the COVID Pandemic, are important truths for today.

Have you ever felt lost? Or maybe incapable of doing something or overcoming a challenging situation? Have you ever felt like a fraud in your profession, not really smart enough to do what your role requires?

That is how I felt a couple of months ago when I met Rosa, who came to see us because of pain in her breast or chest. The doctor thoroughly examined her, finding nothing abnormal in her breast, no heart conditions, and no history of any injury or trauma, but she had pain.   

I could see she was in pain. It was hard for her to speak and move; every position was painful. I asked about the pain. Where did it hurt? When did it begin? She couldn’t answer she was in so much pain. Rosa’s daughter-in-law brought her to the clinic, but she couldn’t provide any information because she lived in another village. On top of that, Rosa was a very private person. Examining her was difficult, as an attempt to move or touch her resulted in screams from Rosa. 

With not much information and unable to examine her, my mind went blank. I didn’t know what was happening or how to help. I felt lost, insecure, and incompetent to treat her.  The self accusations began: “What kind of professional are you? You’re not very smart. You don’t know enough to help her.”  

I wanted to help Rosa but didn’t know how. What could I do without any information? The only thing I could think to do was to teach her how to breath and pray. As she was breathing, I prayed in silence, “Lord, You will have to take over. I don’t know what do, I don’t know how to help her.” 

Normally, I pray with the patients at the beginning or at the end of the session, but not in the middle. I asked Rosa if I could pray for her, but before she could answer, her daughter-in-law told me she is a Mayan priest. I turned to Rosa, “You can pray,” she said.  So I prayed as she worked on the breathing techniques I showed her. 

After the prayer she shared with me that her husband recently passed away. Life had changed dramatically and was very difficult now. Then, without me asking, she shared the pain was almost gone. Before I knew it she was laughing loudly. What a dramatic change from the screams at the beginning of her session.

For me, it was a good reminder to surrender and let God take over all the areas of my life, especially when I am feeling lost, scared, incapable, and not enough. But also, when things change and we don’t know what to do in a given situation. Where do you feel God might be asking you to surrender and give the control back to Him? What screams might He turn into laughter?