After sharing last’s week blog about our house visit to see Darrell, I can’t stop thinking about what I might say to him or his family about why God is allowing this to happen in their lives. There are no easy answers to the questions. Attempts to make everyone more comfortable could only add further pain and suffering to an already difficult situation.

Here are some things I hope I can remember for future interactions with them and others:

1. Sometimes people aren’t looking for an answer, but just for someone to be present in their pain and suffering. It takes wisdom to know when to speak. Keeping quiet and just being may be the most important and loving thing I can do, even if it’s hard and uncomfortable. It is not about making either one of us feel better.
2. I don’t know what it is like to be in Darrell’s or the family’s situation. Their experiences are their own. I’d hope to be honest that I don’t know what they’re going through, but I’m here to be with them. 
3. It is okay not to have answers but be willing to be uncomfortable and be present.
4. I could share the ways I’ve been encouraged by Darrell. The joy in his smile. The love for his mom and how he’s looked for ways to help support the family by making bracelets to sell. The love and compassion he’s shown to his family and our staff.
5. Over time I might encourage him to let go of the why and instead to ask God to reveal Himself and what He is doing in the middle of all this.
6. I’d acknowledge that I don’t have answers to his questions, but many people have some good ideas. 
7. However, the most important thing I’d hope to share is that even with his questions, Darrell can trust God. We can trust Him when it hurts and even if we never understand or know why.  We can trust Him.