Have you ever found yourself in a conversation that you later regretted, or worse yet, you walked away from feeling sick? Looking back, you realize you participated in a toxic conversation. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, here is a good sign you’re about to start or participate in a toxic conversation: You are not part of the problem or the solution. My pastor used to say, “If you’re not part of the problem or the solution, it is gossip.” So true. Entering into these conversations is toxic to your soul.

I found myself in such a conversation recently. I left feeling horrible. I tried to defend and explain, but I only seemed to fall deeper into the pit. Later, I started questioning the integrity of some people and the group. I didn’t like how I felt. I started walking down the path of judgment and other bad paths, but for some reason I couldn’t get on another trail. The darkness lingered all night.

Waking up the next morning, I returned to Psalm 37, a psalm God had used to encourage me earlier in the week. This time, I read things from a different perspective. I felt myself returning to the right path as God answered my prayers in how to deal with such situations and walk in His ways.

Maybe you haven’t been caught in these conversations, but you’re the individual, leader, or part of an organization that is being unfairly talked about by others.  It doesn’t matter if it is just locally or broadcast on the national news. Maybe some of the things I felt God show me in Psalm 37 will help you, too. First, it is important to check your own heart to see if anything is true and make the appropriate changes, but then when you know what others are saying is just not true, do the following:

1.    Don’t worry. God sees and knows all. He is our ultimate judge and defense. He knows the wickedness that prevails in this world, but it will not last.

2.    Stop being frustrated.  Psalm 37:9 says if we get angry we’re likely to lose our temper and that only leads to harm. What we may be trying to disprove may only prove what they believe, if we lose our temper.

3.    Trust His will and His ways. He knows the plans of the wicked and they will not prevail. He promises a great future for those that love peace and walk in His ways.

4.    Follow Him. Keep going about what He has called you to do. Anything else takes your eyes off of Him and only makes more room for the enemy to come in and bring confusion, division, and otherwise wreak havoc.

Day by day, the Lord takes care of the innocent, and they will receive an inheritance that lasts forever. They will not be disgraced in hard times; even in famine they will have more than enough (Psalm 37:18-19 NLT).