A kitten, abandoned at the ranch, in time found a new home with Yoda, the infamous barn cat*, and the humans at the ranch. In addition to the food he could catch on his own, he was provided with water, food, and shelter.

The kitten spent his days following around Yoda or others at the ranch. The two cats hunted, explored, visited guests, and even found themselves in some mischief. Unlike Yoda, who’d jump on your lap if he got the chance, the kitten kept his distance. The friendship between the two cats grew until the day Yoda was no longer around. The kitten, now a cat, was once again left alone, except when the humans came to the ranch. 

At a recent visit to the ranch, I watched the cat sit outside the various doors, crying for attention, but once anyone got close, he quickly turned or ran away.  He’d even circle your legs and attempt to snuggle in as you sat in a chair or bench, but make a movement toward him and he’d be gone. 

I like to think I have a special connection with animals and children, so I wanted to see if I could get the cat to let me pet him. As he drew near, I squatted down, and he let me pet him, but then he quickly withdrew. Another time, he even started to snap and paw at me. He’d run away and then come back again. A dance of wanting to be near and yet drawing away. I gave the cat a new name, Desire.

I don’t know about you, but as I watched Desire’s interactions, I could resonate with the desire for connection and the inability to linger in it and pull away. I can become overwhelmed with fear or anxiety, remembrances of past hurts, loss, and grief. I long to connect with God and others in meaningful ways, but just like Desire, I disengage, keep my distance, or sometimes just lash out. And yet, I cry for the connection I seek. Can you relate? 

Isn’t this the story of Christmas? A God who sees our desires for connection and more, while understanding our brokenness and inability to connect. Our settling for proximity and less things. Yet, he provided and did what we could not by sending Jesus. God with us, Emmanuel. He provides the way for whole, secure attachments and connection.

May this Christmas season bring you closer to your desires and God’s desire for you. 

(*Yoda has his own story, but that’s for another day and for my friend to tell.)